I'm a LARPer.

Once I month I go LARPing. For those who don't know, LARP, or Live Action Role Playing, is much the same as Dungeons & Dragons and other Role Playing Games. The difference between a LARP and other RPGs, is that you actually dress up and act out your character. It gives a very different feel for playing a role. Anyways, I had an inspiration to write something one day, and it's turned into a song for one of my characters. I don't normally do lyrics, so it's rather clumsy. The words are written to the tune of Angels by Within Temptation. Here is a Song of Lucius.

"Your young men will dream dreams"

I've started recording my dreams. As soon as I'm up and dressed, I head down to my laptop and type out what I remember. I tried doing this once before, so I have a decent dream memory. It's hard though to recall many details from your dreams. This morning there was a face I couldn't place, and words that I knew I had spoke, but I couldn't remember what I said. I had a conversation with somone I love very much, but I don't remember what either of us said.

Why is it that dreams are so hard to remember? Are we not intended to recall what random information our minds give us at night? Is there something in our dreams that would help us out in our lives, a cheat code of sorts, and we are being prevented from knowing it? Is there perhaps a way of changing reality like we change our dreamworld?

I don't think there is such a cheat code, or a way of altering reality. Not like in dreams. And while I grow frustrated with not remembering these fantasies where I can talk to anyone and things work out alright, if not perfect, I enjoy them. Visions like these help me get through the day, they make me feel better. I don't escape to them like some ran from reality to Dungeons and Dragons, but I do enjoy the escape.

Do you believe it is possible to interpret your dreams into useful information in reality? Do you think our minds are sending us messages from the collective unconscious, from God, or from some other source? How would we translate our dreaming into whatever data is hidden inside them? I sometimes feel like there is something I am missing in my dreams. There is always this feeling that while the dream is great, it is missing some...special. Specific. I don't know what it is. Is this feeling possibly a reaction to not understanding? Or is it just my mind's way of telling me that this isn't real, that what is missing is reality?

This is a fragment of a poem. I feel there's more, but I can't finish it right now. It goes rather well with "Held Fast" though, and it's dedicated to the same person. Enjoy and feel free to comment or offer suggestions.



So I'm sorry for acting, and for these things I do,
But to be honest it's hard to stop thinking about you.
Though I write poems, which you never peruse,
You are my anchor, though you confuse
My mind and charge me with energy,
I only wish we could have better synergy.

Held Fast

On dark sea nights, sailors tremble in

Fear for their lives in the face

Of the storm that is

Gusting like a banshee's

Wailing through the rigging.

But where they search for

Light from the shore, my

Fate cannot reach me for you

Hold me fast and prevent my

Ruin upon the shoals I cannot see.

No matter the weather you hold me

Together through any storm that comes

My way is secure because I can turn to you

My anchor holds me fast against the

Windy gale that I face every day.

I never show you the respect you deserve, and for that I am sorry. Thank you for being there for me and for all you have done. This poem is a poor tribute, but I dedicate it to you just the same.

Canada, my country.

I believe it was Wilfred Laurier who said that the twentieth century would belong to Canada. We had just come out of the Second World War, having served admirably in Europe, and we had upheld our reputation from the Great War before. Canada was becoming more independent from the Crown of England, and looked ready to push the United States aside and take it's place as the biggest player on the global field.

So what happened? The Vancouver 2010 Olympic Winter Games were used, and continue to be used, to try and marshal nationalistic support. Canadians are becoming too American it seems. The world is breaking apart from it's nations, and is swirling together into the field of economics. The borders are becoming more about which company owns what resources, rather than what country a company hails from. Is this a good thing, or a bad thing? Is it good that we are focusing more on doing business with each other, and are leaving out of style things such as nations behind? Or is it bad that we are forgetting some of what makes each of us special? Are we losing that part of ourselves that makes us proud to be from a certain piece of land?

I read a book recently, a Tom Clancy novel, where privately owned armies were being given more and more control of the U.S. government. The Air Force, Navy and Army were being made redundant by shiny new corporations that fought for money. One day, a mercenary company would fight for a rogue South American regime, the next day they would merge with a bigger label that worked for the United States. Several of the characters wanted to make a future where countries were a thing of the past, where everything was run by corporations and competing businesses made the world go round. Several pilots, formerly of the United States Air Force, ran illegal missions to prevent a takeover by the companies the U.S. had hired for it's own protection. Is there something wrong with that picture? A world run by companies that won everything and employ everyone?

As part of my last semester of high school, I'm helping teach a course on Canadian history. Now, admittedly, Canada does not have much of a history when compared to the Old World. We are still rather young, and have not done much that is noteworthy to the rest of the planet. Our biggest impact was during the World Wars, when we gained a reputation for taking the hard jobs and getting them done, doing what no-one else could do. We took Vimy Ridge, battled in Kitchener Wood. We were slaughtered again and again, but we kept coming back, because we believed in something. We continued to surrender our lives, parents blessed their children as they walked out the door, we lost brothers, fathers, cousins, uncles. We continued to give, because we had a dream of a better world. The class I'm helping with, does not seem very interested in history. Some of the guys have a touch of interest because of games like Call of Duty, which is an American game. Some girls are enjoying the course because they genuinely enjoy learning about their home country. Some want better marks, so they can get accepted to a better university, get a well paying job, and settle down to make lots of money for the rest of their lives.

Where did patriotism go? Why have we moved away from nationalism? Admittedly, nationalism played a big part in the World Wars, it may even have been the reason for them. But I don't believe there is anything wrong with the system. Sometimes things get taken too far, but that happens with everything. One can be proud of their country without thinking that others are inferior.

Egypt is a good example of this. It is a modern country, industrialized, but it has kept it's national identity and culture. When they wanted a change, the people of Egypt got together and told the government what they wanted. They waited for things to change, they encouraged things to change, all without violence. It was not the protestors that started the conflict. It was the supporters of the government. Then men and women who wanted a change did not attack their fellow countrymen, they set up camp and waited for their request to be fulfilled. The military did not use tear gas, riot shields and clubs to control protesting mobs. They simply drove up, parked their vehicles, and waited.

Meanwhile Canadians protesting the G20 set cars on fire, they smashed windows. Admittedly, anarchists may have had a hand in starting the violence, but we Canadians went about this all the wrong way. Some of us wanted to protest the government spending millions of dollars on security, so we went and started pushing the police that had been placed around the Summit. We clawed at the barriers, we blew bubbles in their faces, we taunted the officers who had sworn to uphold law in our country. And then they beat us, they chased us down, they fought back. And we crucify them for it. If you poke a bear with a stick, when the bear is merely sleeping in the woods, and the bear attacks us, do we blame the bear for ravaging the people who provoked it? Who is in the wrong? The bear acted according to it's nature, it does not know better, so it is not in the wrong. The person who saw a big and dangerous creature, got the stick, and taunted it, irritated it, is to blame.

Canada, we need to fix things. We are supposed to be the friendliest people on the planet, willing to learn another language rather than force others to learn our own. We say "please" and "thank you" when we want something in a store, or when someone smiles at us when we're having a bad day. Small things, actions we do not have to do. But we do them. Canada is our home, we live here. Why can we not make it more like home and less like an office? I'm not a huge fan of hockey, or most sports, but when the Olympics are on, I am willing to watch Canadians perform and compete with the rest of the world. I also watch the Netherlands, as my family originally came from there. I support two countries, I cheer them both on. How is this wrong? How is it hard? Why can I not be proud of my heritage and my home?

Canadians, we're known to be the "get r done" folk. Well, let's get it done, shall we? We have issues with the politicians in Ottawa, eh? Then get some new people in! You want honesty, then vote for honest people. If you can't find any, find a friend who would be a good administrator, and get them to run in the next election. It's time to get things moving. We know there's a problem, we have ways to fix it. If something goes wrong, then we'll fix that too. WE've all made mistakes before. Let's get going!

We often look south of our border for the newest fads and styles. The Americans are trying to clean up their mess, slowly, but they are. Obama was a good choice, he's trying to improve his country. Note, his country. Barack Obama is very proud of his home, and he works hard to make it a better place to live in. We want Canada to be a better place, so let's get to work, eh?

Come on, Canada! We can make a difference, we can change the world. We have more money than most, so let's use it. We can travel more freely than many other countries can, so let's make use of that and start working on improving our country and others. We have beliefs that we know to be true. The Charter of Rights and Freedoms was written by Canada for a reason. Take off the suit, put on the steel toes and gloves and help each other improve our home.

A sore hip and three blisters later...

It is a sign of my developed intelligence that today, when I wanted to return some books to the library, instead of getting a ride in, walking 20 minutes to St. Clements, or even waiting until tomorrow when I would have been in town, I instead walked for about 2 hours into Elmira.

Why? Good question. Partly, I wanted exercise. With the Robin in the Hood Medieval Festival coming up, I want to be in shape for my fight part. Most people go to the gym, by a treadmill, or work in a job where they put their body through hard work. Construction is a good example of this. Me, I walk for 2 hours into town, knock on a friend's door to wish him happy birthday, discover he's not home, develop blisters on my heels and learn I have a very sore hip, then walk towards home for an hour or so before being offered a lift.

The best part is, I enjoyed every minute of it. Walking on the side of the road, I would move as much as I could to allow people to pass me safely. I'd nod, wave and smile at them, and I got a variety of reactions for it. Waves were returned, as were nods. One young girl gave me a huge smile that just made my day. People were very patient with me, and tried to pass me without endagering myself, themselves or other drivers.

Don't get me wrong, I am very thankful to be home. I can live with blisters and I'll get over the sore hip with a good night's rest, but I enjoy doing this. Walking clears my mind and helps me feel better. Even if the weather is crummy, I get some kind of boost from walking the world. Walking helps me remind myself that I am moving forward in life, and people's reactions tell me that I am respected and valued, which does wonders for my self-esteem. And as strange as this may seem, I like hearing others worrying about me. I'll tell friends I walked so far, because I know many of them will rant about how dangerous it is and how they want to help me in the future, should I ever dare to consider something so foolish again.

My thanks to those of you who passed me on the road today, and tried your best to make things easy for me. My thanks especially to Gabriel, for giving me a lift home at the end of the day. God bless you all in everything you do.