Am I living? Part 2

So, my last post under this title was, I think, more about how I might be limiting myself. This time, I'm probably going to muse and ramble about how I'm not sure what I am living right now.


So, I was listening to "I've Seen a Little" by Alan Doyle, and a friend of mine recommended the Small Town Pistols to listen to as well. Found a song of theirs, "Living on the Outside". I should probably explain that I think a little oddly. I tend to be paranoid and suspicious, though some days I don't bother, yet that kind of thinking has gotten me into the habit of looking for patterns. My brain does it in really odd ways, such as pairing the sides on a stop sign to each other, as well as those on the post. I'll take notice when start wishing for a good book to read, and then shortly after that I hear about this really good book that I would probably enjoy, or I will ask the weather to let up for a little bit because I'm restless too and I just want to walk some energy off and talk to the girl I'm in to, and the weather listens.

So when I start listening to songs and I realize I'm skipping some and staying on others, I begin to look for comparisons and connections. I know that I'm often wrong, and that things might just happen in patterns because I am imagining that they are there, but there is no real co-relation.

Let's see if I can find the words to describe the point I am trying to make. After wondering if I am limiting myself and preventing myself from living, I have to ask myself, "Am I living?" Is there something I'm missing? Do I know what I would be doing if I was living? I know I'm alive, because I don't think this is what death will be like. Some people say to be living you have to break the rules, get moving, run away from what you know and see how it goes. I don't know if that's how it goes, because everyone who goes away ends up living just fine when they get home, seeing everything in a new way. Some people say "you don't know what you have until it is gone", but is that how it has to be? Are we incapable of changing our eyes without changing our address? That's ridiculous. I know people who wake up every day without ever leaving the same plot of land, and yet they can see something new in the world around them each day. So why this big hubbub about having to get away and get a new perspective? It's silly.

I've often thought about travelling, but it's not like I could just pack up and go, right? I mean sure, I could. But without a plan or at least a general idea, I might as well just buy a ticket and jump on the plane with nothing but the clothes on my back and then jump out at some random location. Maybe I could get by without money, but seeing as I live in Northern North America, it would be tricky to get home if I happened to jump out over Europe. It's not like someone would just talk to me, oh and they just happen to speak English, and then hand me a plane ticket and wish me a safe flight. I will admit, I would love to do something like that, but I would like to know I will come home again.

I haven't really travelled much. From my home near Waterloo, I have gone north into Haliburton County, and south to the border with the States, Niagara Falls. I've been to Europe, through Germany with it's green slopes, France and all it's people. Passed through Belgium, stayed a while in the Netherlands and saw the dikes. And yet, I'm still not sure if I'm living. I've seen more than some, and less than others, and I know I want to see more. I haven't seen much of my own country, and Canada is full of things to see, it's huge!! And I still want to see Europe and Australia -though what with all the critters there, I will be just a touch worried-, I think it would be something to go to Asia, Russian, Africa, South America...there is so much world, and I want to see it all. and I still don't know if I'm living.

Am I missing something? It can't be the travel that let's you see things anew. The experience then? Does that make the difference? The problem with that line of thought is that the people who will tell you it's the experience have all gone through different paths and opposite roads, so you are back where you started.

So maybe I just need to patient. So then why am I being told that boldness is an attractive quality?

Am I living?

So, here is the scenario, and my apologies if it appears confusing and convoluted. If it wasn't so, then I wouldn't be having troubles with it, would I?

I am a Christian. I was raised that way, and that is what I believe in. Heaven, Hell, and a war between them with Earth as the battleground. As part of my upbringing, I went through a program, called Cadets. The code of the Cadets was fairly simple. "A Cadet must be reverent, obedient, compassionate, consecrated, trustworthy, pure, grateful, loyal, industrious and cheerful."

I try to be a good person. But I was having a friendly argument with a friend of mine and realized that I couldn't continue the argument. It took me a bit to figure it out. Please don't get me wrong, I'm not sexist, but this particular friend means a great deal to me, and for whatever reason I have developed certain rules of behaviour for myself when I interact with her. Strangely enough, I also cannot break them. It's not that I cannot break rules, I have, I just don't bother to. Perhaps its due to lack of practice that things go bad when I do break the rules.

Anywho, I think my first issue is figuring out what these rules are. It's not like in board games or table-top where you can just pick up the manual and read what the Game Master have come up with for this version. I wrote these rules, and some of them I don't recognize until I run into them. Kinda like the card game Mao, if you've ever played it.

The way Mao works, is there is a set of base rules, and you use a regular deck of cards. They vary slightly based on how people like to play, but these are the ones I learned.

1. You can lay cards like on like. Red to red, clubs to clubs, Jack to Jack. Really simple.
2. No talking during the game. If you talk, pick up a card.
3. You win by clearing out your hand first.
4. If you win the round, you make a new rule.

Round 4 is where things get interesting. You make a new rule, whatever you like, but it cannot target a specific person or group. So no making anyone named Tim pick up three cards whenever they put one down. Girls are not forced to take off an article of clothing if they put a 10 of Clubs down. The new rule can be something like...If you put an 8 down onto another 8, you have to say "Sandwich". There is one other thing about the new rule. You don't tell anyone about it. That is the issue I've run into, I've managed to create rules about my behaviour that I do not know.

I know it's hard to imagine. How can you hide something from yourself when you can up with it, when it concerns you so directly?

I mentioned my problem to my friend, telling her how I seem to have locked myself in a set of rules, and that I appear to be too foolish to break them. Her suggestion was that I break them and live a little.

Besides the fact that I might be making this harder than needed on myself, or that it might not as simple as she make it out to be, there is another thought. Are these rules preventing me from living?

Holding Pattern

In 2012, I graduated from high school. I've been working since then for my dad, doing home renovations. I intend to join the reserves before the year changes again. I have friends who I graduated with, who have gone to college, or university. Some are into security, photography, fashion, computer sciences, construction. We cover so many different fields, but there is one thing that I am finding holds true for all of us.

We don't know what to do next.

We have no driving purpose, no reason to work. Sure, there are bills to pay, gas tanks to fill, and things to buy, but why bother? Some of my friends have finished school, they've done their exams and courses and aren't sure what to do next. I haven't even moved out yet, and I'm in the same spot they are. We're missing something. Something important. Are you missing it? Have you noticed that working isn't enough, that while visiting friends and making money and buying gifts is great and makes you feel pretty good, but you still are confused as to why you're doing it?

Well, paranoia and conspiracy theories would likely suggest we are being programmed, groomed for something. Maybe God is doing it, aliens could be responsible, or perhaps the more likely answer is that the upper class is trying to control us and guide us to doing something for them. World War III, anyone?

Maybe it's just how things have happened. Humanity has be working on computers and money-making for a couple decades now, if not longer. Maybe we've been setting ourselves up for this. My generation has been pushed through schooling into the work-force, and now we're stalling. Which means the next generation will be stuck behind us, and the next behind them. Highway pile-ups aren't fun, but several generations who are backed up, confused and looking for something to believe in make a very volatile mix.

So, what are we missing?

By these signs you will know me...Forgive and Forget. (My Fury Remains)

I have written on forgiveness before. Why, I don't know. It is not a difficult topic, not unusual or special in any way. If I wanted a challenge, I would write on love, honour, glory.

Love is a concept that, I think, the world has lost. We don't know it anymore. How many words are there in the English language that refer to love? Only  the word 'love' itself. Other languages have several words and ideas that can be translated as love, all describing a different aspect of it. Brotherly love, friendly love, sexual love (also known as lust), and then that special love. That idea, that energy that we cannot define or explain. It makes two separate people one, they leave their lives and become a new whole, a new form of life, a different way of living. 

Chivalry is supposedly a dead thing of the past. From an age where men were supposed to treat women fairly and kindly, and each other with respect, all to uphold the honour of all involved. A community's honour, that of the family, the lord you served, your god, your self. Honour was a measure of respect and quality and skill, but yet it spoke of something that was more than that. One could be the least skilled fighter on the field, but yet respect would be given due to the high honour you held. Those above you could give you honour, praise and gifts, which were signs of your own honour and increased the reputation for honour of your family, land, lord.

Of the three deep terms I listed, glory is perhaps the oddest one, only surpassed in the difficulty of definition by love. Glory comes from victory and honour, but glory and victory can come in defeat. Leonidas and the three hundred Spartans who followed him all died. Yet they have not been ridiculed by history, they were not dishonoured and it was not said that they were defeated. Their victory was in delaying the advance of a hostile army, their glory in slaying so many before simply giving up the fight. In the movie, 300, you see that they are flanked and are forced to make a last-ditch effort to slow the Persians. They could have retreated. Fallen back and given ground in order to continue the fight for as long as possible, but instead they circled up and then allowed themselves to be shot down. They were not defeated, they did not lose glory or honour in dying like this because they chose it. Their enemies didn't beat them, they took the bait and did as the Spartans wanted them to do.


In forgiveness, there is love, honour and glory. The definition of forgiveness varies slightly, but according to the Oxford Dictionary of English, to forgive someone is to let go of your anger towards them. Anger is a powerful emotion, according to most people it is only trumped by love. For many people, letting go of it is not easy. Especially if the reason behind the anger is connected closely to ourselves. It is hard to not be angry at someone who harmed a family member. To forgive them, we have to let go of that anger and be able to say that we do not hate them any longer. When you forgive someone, you are recognizing a love for them. You are saying that they mean something to you, they are a person, not an object to be eliminated in revenge or vengeance. You gain honour in doing this, because you are showing yourself to be strong-willed and in control of your emotions and yourself. It shows discipline and confidence, that you can let go of something and move on with your life. The glory doesn't always show in an obvious way. Sometimes the person you forgave ends up taking your forgiveness and using as a way to better themselves, and in doing so brings glory to both of you.

Forgiveness is not easy. What is harder is to forget. And right now, these two things are almost beyond me. A friend of mine told me to forget them. And for the past year or two I have tried. Erasing memories and teaching myself to cut emotions away from what memories remain. If I saw something and it reminded me of a time I had spent with them...stop feeling happiness and joy at the memory. Make it empty and try to forget it happened. When I recall their face, or see someone who reminds me of them, or hear someone speak their name, blast all feeling away. Burn it and destroy it and bury the remains as deep as they will go. Do this enough, and you will start to feel a hollowness. You will start damaging other memories very quickly, and your moods will become dulled and less poignant. A shadow hangs over you as you start to disconnect from everything that you feel.

Except anger. The pain of the emptiness and the sorrow of losing so much will be the kindling for a fire, a furious blaze that will always glow within you. Your temper will snap easier, you will have a harder time listening to others as you become impatient, restless. I have always been a bit of a wanderer, prone to get up and go out with a simple urge to walk and wander as I look about, or simply travel through this world. Now though, I find the urge coming, but there is no release from the feeling, the need to move and walk and travel away from everything. No reprieve, no rest. Trying to erase your own memory is a destructive process, and I am finding it is leaving me with less and less will to keep walking. There is no confrontation between us, if there was, I might resolve the problem between us, or I will fight and use the heat of my fury to empower myself and to find new drive and strength. Instead, the flames die down, they simmer and slowly reduce themselves to glowing coals that gradually lose their heat. I have heard that victims of cancer and wasting diseases die slowly, feeling themselves draining away. I wonder if this is what it feels like.


If someone wrongs you, forgive them. Forget the incident. But no matter what anyone tells you, do not try to forget a friend. It does not work. You will hurt yourself and others around you by trying it. I have looked at death before and realized I have no fear of it. It does not bother me. What always bothered me was not being there for those who would miss me. My family, my friends who might think of me and remember I am no longer there, and then they might face that blank face of despair and sorrow in realizing that I am well and truly gone. I cannot hold them, or speak to them words of comfort. I would not be able to do any of those things. If anything, I would have to watch as some might lose themselves and either cross over to join me, or would simply faded away, much like I feel myself doing now.

"Forgiveness is the economy of the heart. Forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits."

Another kind of Hunger Game

So, you just got a date, or are going on another, or simply feel like going somewhere impressive with your friends. You pull up to the establishment, join the throng of people trailing along the side-walk and settle yourself in to wait for the next hour or so to get in. You see a camera scanning the lines, and you either realize that your shoe is undone, or that you haven't seen your mother recently and should therefore pretend your shoe is undone, and just as you get enough space to duck down and fix the issue, someone steps in.

I think that at some point in everyone's life, we will run into a person like this. They can't wait, they see a space, or they simply see no reason as to why they should not just slide into the space you left before you. And unless we get our wits together enough to throw our irate astonishment into their ears, then we will never know what strange logic entered their mind and encouraged them to step in.

Some have the audacity to say they saw you leaving a space for them, and so they took it. Who believes that? I've left a space for a stranger sometimes, but they either had my respect and the respect of those behind me, or there was no-one behind me. If Leonard Nimoy joins the line at McPuke's, then sure I'll give him space. But some guy who works at the offices of Apple and decides that since he met Steve Jobs and worked with him for a couple hours he deserves those few inches, not happening. There is just no way.

If you haven't eaten in a week, and look the part, then maybe you'll earn my sympathy. Hopefully my experience with the dramatic arts and minimal knowledge of costume and make-up will prevent con artists from nabbing that meal ahead of me, or those Chris de Burgh tickets that I was going to buy my mom for her birthday.

I really don't get why people need to cut in front. You won't get the tickets much faster, or your meal soon, and the stop sign is there, so you can't beat me around the corne---nevermind. Ignoring the stop sign will get you around that corner faster.

But do the bonuses really give you that much of an edge on the rest of us? Why do we need to rush? There's not logic thought process behind it, it's a charge of lemmings, no more.

So...is there logic behind it? Or do we do it for the rush? So many people want to be busy, they have to be busy, to be able to say they are busy. Since we don't have to all deal with crummy weather affecting our crops, then we need an excuse to get out of something, or a way to make it look like we appreciate someone by taking time out of being "busy" to be with them.

If that is the case, then add it to the list of things wrong with society.

I strongly dislike people cutting in line, but I rarely do anything about it. Is that because Canadian society has lost so much of it's strength that we can't even challenge someone on what is considered rude on an international level? I would hate to find that to be the case. If someone has bad manners, correct them. Don't tear their head off, obviously, you don't want to give them reason to hate you. However, there is nothing wrong with quietly telling them that it was rude, and they would have your gratitude if they would take their place at the back of the line. It's not that you think yourself better than them, just that you happened to be here first, and while that is a horrible argument from Grade 1 to Grade 8, it works from Grade 9 and onward.

If Rocks could Talk

So, I have not written poetry in a while, so forgive me, I'm a little rusty. Earlier this evening of the 9th of March, 2012, a young friend said to me, "I have the imagination of a rock", meaning she had none. I don't know about you, but I'm one of those people who is 'too nice'. I can forgive and forget within 24 hours of being so furious with someone that I would strike them. So when this young lady said she had no imagination, I went about correcting her and reassuring her in the most direct way possible. I told her, "Rocks have plenty of imagination! They sit around all day doing physically nothing, so all they do is think and imagine!"

I don't think she believed me, so I wrote this little poem. Maybe it will get her imagination flowing, or yours.

Everyone, why don't you listen to these Talking Stones?

Whores, or Horrors: A woman's body and it's worth.

So, it's a about 10:30 pm where I live. My mind isn't too clear, and I can't think of something original to write about. So, instead I am going to write about a little something I found in a book I was reading this evening. The following is from The Crippled God, Malazan Book of the Fallen, by Steven Erikson.

"A woman gives up her body when she has nothing else to give. She gives it up like a man his last copper."

~pg. 584, The Crippled God, Steven Erikson

Now, take a look at that line. Those two sentences. I want to make something clear here. I do not think that the man hates giving up his copper because he is greedy. No, I think he resents giving it up because it is the last thing he controls. He still has something, some piece that can be called worth, can have value placed on it. He has something to fight for. He will defend that copper, because it is all he has left. If he loses that copper, he has lost his will to live. He has had everything else taken from him, except for that copper. He has the power, in that copper, he is God. He alone has the ability to choose what he wants to do with that last coin. He is almighty, all powerful. He will give his life for that coin. Why? It doesn't care, the coin has no emotion, no thoughts, no feelings for the man who holds it. It has no reason or ability to feel anything toward him whatsoever. Yet he will still fight for that cold piece of metal, because it reminds him that he still has worth, he is still someone, he still has some control, because he has that coin.

A woman, therefore, will do anything to keep her body sacred. She only has one, it belongs to her. No-one else. It has worth. Why? Because for centuries mankind has put worth into it. She has that body because countless, and by countless I mean I would not bother trying to count them, generations have invested their lives in eating, fighting, breathing, and so much pain, sorrow, and suffering, in getting her that body. Humanity had to survive a horrible world. To do that, we needed to reproduce. Only a woman had that power. Yes, she needed a man to help, but once he had impregnated her, his job was done. She was now survival incarnate. If she died, another life went with her, just as surely as if I tied two people together and pushed one into a volcano. People complain about why women were not allowed to vote, to fight, to work, to do anything beyond cook, clean and have babies. The reason is simple. We want to live. If humanity is going to continue, we need to have as many females as possible who can have children. If we lose them, it's over. Done. The end.

In our world, even the world we live in today, in this the...what, 21st century, is it? Even now, with science keeping people alive better, longer, healthier, we still place an incredible amount of value on a woman's body. A mind is difficult to get, yes, but compared to a woman willingly surrendering her body? Nothing can compare. Gems and gold in a pile as high as Mount Everest, or 72 women who are willing to give their bodies to you? Some would still choose the stones and metal, it's true. Compare that number to how many would take the women? Insignificant. Meaningless. I believe Earth now holds around 7 billion people, or thereabouts, and even if one billion people chose the gems and gold, there would still be 6 billion who would take the women.

Prostitution, I have heard, is mankind's oldest profession. Selling one's body for something has been around since we first walked this planet. Whether we came from mud or monkeys, it doesn't matter, because everything in the world does it. A female wolf will allow a male to mate with her, and in exchange he will help provide food and shelter and he will teach the cubs to survive. Using one's body to get what one wants? Oldest trick in the book. New dogs don't have to learn new tricks, because the old one still works best. Everyone, even someone who has no interest in women, understands that a woman's body is one of, if not the, best currency in the world.

So what went wrong? Even during the movements for rights for women, if a female walked up to you and offered her body freely, you understood exactly what she was offering. She was giving you something very precious. A woman has nothing more valuable than her body. A man, he has skills in some field. Be in mathematics, trades, science, medicine, soldiering, he still has a skill, and without the proper tools, that skill is useless. Which leaves him with his physical and mental abilities. But those can be damaged, crippled. A woman's body, on the other hand, is sacred. Destroying a woman's body will destroy her. If you mutilate her, her self-worth will plummet, because she will realize that she now has nothing. Sure, she will still have her mind, and whatever tasks she can still do, but she has lost her self-worth. That one last copper she had, is gone. Ruined. Worthless.

Some will argue that with your mind and the Internet, you could still live a good life. Even if your body was so scarred that there was not one piece of clean flesh visible anywhere, you could still do something worthwhile. Would it matter? Can you find be confident in how others think of you, when you cannot be confident in your own body?

So what is wrong with us? Young women and girls are giving their bodies away to boys and men, to the point where people have started to worry. They now have terms for it. A whore isn't someone who gets paid to sleep with guys, it's the girl in the school who sleeps with as many guys as she can. A slut isn't a prostitute either, it's that girl who wears a shirt with so little material, even someone who has needed new glasses for six years can see she isn't wearing a bra. Girls are giving their bodies away, and then they hurt. They find that guy who they think is the one, a guy they love, lust for and care about. So they have sex. Often, the guy leaves. And suddenly the girl has this empty space inside of her soul. She gave what she valued most to him, and he looked it over and then left. He didn't thank her, didn't worship the wonder of how incredible the artwork of her body is.

So girls lose sight of how valuable they are. After the first few guys dumb her after sleeping with her, she figures, what the heck. I'm not valuable, I'm not worth anything, because nobody respects that I am giving them my body, that focal point of my self-esteem and worth. So they sleep with more guys, because they don't care now. Things that have no worth can be tossed around and broken. Used, and abandoned. What do you do with an old computer? You throw it out or recycle it. How do you recycle a body? Give it to someone else, maybe they might have a use for it. Doesn't that sound wrong? It's not slavery, it sounds dirtier than that.

I really hope, that I never do something like that again. I did it once. And now I hate myself for it. Rape? No, rape is bad, but this is beyond the vileness that surrounds rape. When you rape someone, you take them against their will. In this, they offer themselves willingly to you. They offer, you take, and you leave. I do not know the word for this. I'm not sure I want to. I feel bad enough already, I don't need a label added to it.

Ladies, be careful. You have something incredibly valuable and you know it. There is plenty of gold in the world, and we can always make more cars or money, but you only will ever have one body.

Men, boys, gents, greasers and lads, try and keep in mind exactly what she is offering. If you mess it up, you might as well have shot her. You will change her for life, more than an abusive father, more than a rapist, more than being abandoned. You have changed her. If a woman offers you her body, pay attention. If she offers it to you, realize that what you do next will have a bigger impact than World War II.

"Laughter for the moment, but take the stretch of years and it's all heartbreak." pg. 584 The Crippled God, Steven Erikson

If there is someone you know who treats women like trash, do not help them. Tell them what they are doing, explain to them what they have done. Tell them the true worth of a woman and how important she is. Her body is her hope. Her life. Home is where the heart is and a woman's heart is in her body. If she gives that body to someone, she has given them everything.

I hate how this world has turned out. There are good things, yes, I can't deny that. But there is badness, so much ugliness and disgusting things that I am sick. God, whatever and whoever he is, better not be responsible. If he is, I will do my very best to strangle him. This should not happen. This is wrong. These quotations I have put here are from a character who was raised in a house of whores. I can see them applied easily to our world.

So do we live in a house of whores, or horrors?

Cut Open

A lot of people have regrets. Some people regret relationships, taking classes they weren't really interested in, eating a piece of food that turned out to be bad, going to a party where you just sit in the corner the whole time. But do you ever regret being a good person? Being helpful?

Some days I wonder if I do. I talk to so many people, I have friends on Facebook that I never speak to, but I leave them there. Then a couple months later, or a year later, they start talking to me again, telling me about how their parents are getting divorced, or how their boyfriend/girlfriend is a jerk and how they are depressed, drinking, doing drugs, or self-injury. They come to me just wanting to talk about their problems, and we end up discussing them in depth over the next couple weeks.

I've asked why people talk to me about their problems, and the usual answer is because they know I'm listening, that I care, and that I try to help them, even if there isn't anything to do. I still talk to them and offer advice and I'm sympathetic and polite and caring. I like trying to be a good person, but some days I have trouble remembering why I put up with this. I don't know if you have ever had to talk to a teenager who is dealing with scars, both old, new, mental and physical. How do you help someone in a place like that? What do you say or do to help someone who is cutting themselves, or dealing with family issues from divorce to abuse?

I get tired of dealing with problems like that, and when I become frustrated and just can't take it anymore, I get a glimpse of what they are going through. I have to deal with them, but they deal with the actual problem. We're in the same boat, really. Neither myself, or the person I'm talking to has an idea of what to do to fix the problem or how. We're both lost, and I'm the better off of the two, I think.

I can walk away from the problem, from the person, but they can't. They're stuck. They have to deal with hiding the blood so their parents don't see it and then pump them so full of drugs people wonder if the child is still really alive. They have to smile and say everything is fine when their parents are arguing at home and their mom, dad, or step-parent wants a divorce for the 1st, 2nd, or even 3rd time. They have to hide the pain, the cuts from those things. I don't. I can just ignore them and pretend things like that don't happen.

But that's not fair, it's not right. If a friend is living on their own, juggling work, payments on their apartment and failing grades, can't I stretch my curfew out a little in order to sit and listen and offer what comfort I can? Sure, my parents might get mad and I might get punished, but I can handle it better than the friend who left abusive parents and now lives in a foster family that doesn't care. It's the least I can do, right?

Why do it though? Listening doesn't do anything, there needs to be change. I should not speak to a young girl who is taking a hot screw and burning herself because she likes the feeling, I should not be talking to a young man who was kicked out of the house and had to sleep in the garden shed. This should. Not. Be. Happening.

Canadians, Americans, and so many other countries recognize that we need to fix the way things are. And the most efficient way is to start over. But if we try that, we will lose too many lives, we will kill those people we want to help. So we need to change what we have. But we can't start at the bottom and work up, because the upper levels are too confusing, and we can't work down, because the upper levels handle the supplies that help those further down on the social scale. Which leaves citizens of every country with the option of working on everything at once. This isn't possible. One person cannot fix the bad self-images that the fashion industry generates while also improving how a family works and helps each other out. Not while also helping religious organizations and relief committees place resources better. It's just not feasible.

So, how do we cut open the mess that we have been weaving for the past years? How do we slice open the skin that's been growing over the problems that we've made?

A doctor will tell you that if you want to get better, you need to treat the sickness, not the symptoms. But people don't want that. They just wants to feel better now. They don't care about later, because then later will be now, and they can simply ignore things and move on.

Can nobody see what is wrong here?

I should not be questioning if being a helpful person is a good thing. That should not be happening. It's ridiculous. If rescue companies around the world started debating whether or not to keep helicopters flying people to hospitals because they're not doing much help, something is very wrong. Helicopters save lives by getting people to clinics in time to undergo surgery or treatment for accidents and problems.

How can we talk about this and get it in the open? How should we start a discussion that some people don't want to have, and how do we know who wants to have it and who doesn't? How do we keep their attention long enough to make the point?

I don't think there is an answer to that. I don't think there is a good way to go about this, to start a change that some don't want to see happen. What I do know is when we finally manage to rip the curtain away that covers our problems and start dealing with them, it is going to be messy. They always are when you cut something open.