Have you ever hurt someone, to the point they leave, and then you realize how much you miss them? I had someone I was close to, could talk to them about anything and everything. Sometimes it was a little awkward and we misunderstood each other, but we could still talk about it. Over the...six or so years that I knew them, we have fought, stopped talking, and befriended each other again and again. And then one day, it stopped. I don't remember what I did or said, but I can tell you I feel empty. 

Much as I wish I could simply skip to my own beat and carry on, I am constantly reminded of how much having their friendship meant to me. I really wish I could have been more understanding of their choices. I would give everything to feel one of your hugs again, because even though it felt like you were going to break my ribs, I always felt solidly there and present and home. I know I can be a little vaporous and flighty, and I am not always the friend I should be, but out of all the people I have met over the years, this one person made it all worthwhile. 

I sent them a message and I hope they respond. I know I don't deserve it, but I will beg for forgiveness and travel to wherever you are if that is what it takes.  

I have made choices I regret before, but this trumps everything. I am sorry for everything I failed to do for you. 

Tyler